Drinks and Homesickness

Today, I am very tired, and I don’t know why. I work on homework and go to classes during the day and go out at night. Last night, we really needed to get outside, so we took a walk. We were debating whether to get gelatos, when Bethany suggested we go to a bar and order a drink. We picked out a classy looking restaurant and sat down. Now, I was determined not to order anything, but I soon began to feel awkward sitting at a table without ordering. I decided to peek at the menu of drinks. Finally, I had to give in. As Bethany and Meghan kept saying to me, it is an experience. Therefore, I ordered the only drink that I recognized, a martini. My martini came in a smallish water glass size. I took a sip and I became overcome with a strong taste of licorice. It was very bitter. Little by little, everyone sipped at their drink until there was none left.
School is going well, though I am feeling more stupid with my Italian by the minute. Meghan was in intro with me, but decided to switch to intermediate since she thought that beginner was too low for her and she wanted to learn more. She has not taken Italian yet, she has studied hard during the summer, and now she knows more than I do, and I took part of a class. She and Bethany will take half an hour and speak in all Italian to each other, which is nice, but they do not try to converse with me, even though it had been my idea in the first place.
This weekend, as a group, we are visiting the Roman Forum, the Colosseum and the Palatine hill. It should be a lot of fun and I am looking forward to it. Then on Sunday, we are going to Mass at the Vatican and attending the Angelus, and it will be lead by Pope Benedict XVI.
I am still dealing with a huge amount of homesickness for my family and friends. While I am here, I cannot help but feel tense and bewildered. Thoughts cross my mind like, “What am I doing here?” and “I don’t deserve to be here.” All of my classmates have higher IQs and seem to belong in this program more than I do. I am looking forward to being home, as much as I love Rome and enjoy traveling.